Between love and career
WHY ARE STRONG WOMEN DIFFICULT TO DEAL WITH?
Strong women do not make their partners feel frustrated, but in time they can become hard to deal with. He explains and supports this theory using numerous examples as well as his colleagues’ experiences from all over the world. Modern women are making an effort to be self-supporting and independent from men, often consciously or not taking over his roles.
Zoran Milivojević says that ”arranged marriage” that once happened quite often, is not a bad solution in order to perserve a ” healthy family core”.
-Those people meet and get matched with the help of their families, they are prepared for it from an early age. They look forward to it, and even tough they don’t know each other well, they function quite well because he plays the role of a man, and she plays the role of a woman, and those roles complement each other. In that way the two of them make a team in which roles are divided in a clear way. As a common rule, they feel no infatuation, but rather connect emotionally in time, have children and build love. Those partners are biologically more productive, they have an image of a family, and societies that have these types of marriages have more children. Societies in which we want to achieve our potentials and develop as individuals are quite narcissistic. Those societies have less children, people ‘’find’’ each other but they also leave each other.
Two strong individuals can have a healthy family-says Zoran MIlivojević, but he also adds that it is especially important that they agree on fundamental life values and how the marriage is supposed to look like.
– Strong people don’t compete with each other, they are already aware of their strength. People who doubt themselves and are unsure of their qualities are the ones who feel the need to prove themselves. All those strong women are not only women; they are also partially men, because they have taken up some male roles. Men might feel a little bit insecure and unnecessary around those women because they don’t have the role of someone who is the head of the family, who should make money or bring ‘’the catch and money’’ , because their partners earn more than them. Those women, regardless of their personality traits, often have some romantic notion of man who will hold their arm, lead them, amuse them etc. As a result their male partners might find them difficult to deal with. If she is a lady then he needs to be a gentleman. In reality his life should revolve around her needs, wishes and her capricious behavior. A real gentleman says: ‘’your wish is my command’’. When he behaves like a gentleman in a relationship the woman starts despising him because that behavior is a sign of his weakness (and she would like a man who would occasionally reject her so that she could crave him). Because a gentleman offers her security and accepts her as a person, she no longer has that moment of challenge. Everything becomes boring and ordinary for her. Men say that there are many amazing, beautiful and interesting women among them, but that they are sometimes hard to deal with. While in love, a man makes a great effort with a woman that he likes, but in time even tough he is aware of her qualities, he realizes that that type of a relationship isn’t right for him. Then he wants to leave her, or leaves her when he can not deal with her anymore.-
Can women change something in order to prevent this from happening?
– They can change, but there are two prerequisites. One of them is for him to understand that there is a problem and that he is partially responsible for it, and after that he shows willingness to improve himself. But she often clings on to the idea that he was ‘’the wrong man’’, and after his effort to change she starts perceiving him as a week man who couldn’t cope with everything. The problem lies in the fact that people don’t learn while they are in love but rather blame the other side for everything, complain that they choose the wrong people and believe that someone better will appear.
Photography: Sanja Rajković
Location: Hotel Jump, Belgrade